Man....I would love to say I am having the time of my life 24/7 and everything is going perfect and I've never been closer to God than I am here and I am growing soooo much. But MAN, life just can't be that easy, can it? Once the newness wears off and things become routine here, it is so easy to fall back into old patterns and ruts, easy to just go through the motions. But I can't. I can't let myself go back to the same person I was. After the things I've learned and the things I've seen, in no way can I ever be the same person again. Not only is it impossible for me to be the same, I simply will not LET myself be the same. Not after all the things God has shown me, the things I have experienced, I just cannot LET myself do that. My life was so empty then, so relatively meaningless.
Never before have I been homesick. Usually, if anything, I am GLAD to get out of the bubble I have lived my entire life in known as Hartville (not a bad place, just a place I like getting away from now and then...as I would anywhere else I lived, lol). But wow, what I wouldn't do to swing by home for a day, even an hour or two. Just long enough to get in my car, drive to Missy's, play with Mia for a while, maybe go to Belden Village. Oh the things we take for granted, the relationships we realize we need.
Sometimes its easy to feel like my time here hasn't gotten me very far. Its hard to measure the growth amidst the roller coaster of everyday life. Amidst illness, broken laptop chargers, insecurities, lost possessions and all the stupid LITTLE things Satan has used to get me down the past few days. Its even easy to sometimes think it would be easier to just go home. But that is not where God has called me. That is not His plan for the rest of my time here. I certainly REFUSE to spend my time here in that state of mind, having a pity party for myself while I let my invaluable time here slip by. Before I know it this season of my life will be over, and I cannot think of looking back with regrets, wondering why I spent my time wallowing in self-pity. Stupid human-ness! I must press on, keep pressing in to God, no matter how often I feel nothing or how much I sometimes want to give up, give in to Satan's lies. Jesus didn't command us to live a life of comfort and convenience, but of COMMITMENT! He sure wasn't living a convenient life when He bore our sins on His back, when His body was nailed to that cross. That sure wasn't comfort! So I refuse to let a little venture out of my comfort zone faze (sp?) me. I cannot, I should not, and I WILL NOT. So please, if you think about it, just pray for me. For a renewed passion, more revelation of God, and just the perseverance and determination to dig in, no matter what the cost. Not because I will feel better, but because He is worthy. God is worthy of us seeking Him our entire lives, no matter what kind of feeling we get or how good it makes us feel!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Mombasa...
Its still hard to believe I was in Africa, but my journal keeps assuring me that I was. Its hard to believe the poverty I saw, but the photos break my heart anew every time I look at them. My journal entry on Wednesday shakes me back to the reality of what I saw: “How DARE I EVER think I am “poor” or don’t have as much as others? How DARE I think I have a hard life? Last time I checked I have never gone CLOSE to wondering where my next meal would come from or how I would make it that day without eating. I have never had to live, even sleep in the same room as my rabbits and other animals. My house isn’t a mere mud shack with stone floors, no electricity, and no ventilation. I have never had to walk around barefoot on scorching hot sand, simply because I don’t have shoes. Never have all my clothes been covered in stains or been full of holes. Never have I had to fight for a GLASS OF WATER. Never do I wonder where I will lay my head that night. Never do I live in filth and disease, but have no way to clean myself and no health care to get better. Never do I get beaten and burned by the only thing I thought I could put trust in, my family.” The striking reality is that most of these kids don’t even HAVE family to begin to put their trust in.
35 kids. 35 of the cutest kids you will ever see. 30% of them are HIV positive. About a quarter of them are orphans and stay with different people every night. If they are lucky enough to have a family, they never have both parents. None of them can afford to get anything of a normal education. The handful of crackers or little pieces of potatoes they get are school are usually the only food they get in a day. They live in hopelessness, with no purpose, nobody to show them a normal life. A generation of kids growing up without knowing anything other than poverty and despair. Begging on the streets, no education, no way of growing up to live a better life. Not because of anything they’ve done, not because they are not hard-working, but simply because of the place they were born and the circumstances they were placed in.
We only had 5 days. 5 days to tackle a mountain of problems. It felt hopeless. It felt like we would never make a dent. We prayed over and over that God would maximize our time. He answered our prayers. As we prayed for guidance and direction that first day, God simply said, “Go out in love and I will guide you. Live out the two greatest commandments--love God and love others --and I will use you.” So that is what we tried to do. Every morning we poured out whatever love we could on the kids, simply by showing them we cared about them and were there for them. We played with them, held them, hugged them, helped them learn, loved them. We TRIED to repay our hosts through offerings of finances, prayer, and support for the work they were doing with these kids--work in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of a large city, where they have no financial support system, and are barely staying afloat. Christine gave up her career as a school teacher of 35 years, her income, to start this school. She is putting so much into it she can’t even pay the rent on her own house. They have stopped using electricity and use as little water as possible simply to save money. We gave them enough money to pay the rent for the school and for the house, just to keep it open! She doesn’t have the money to make copies, so every page she makes for the kids she has to make 35-40 times. We made 2000 copies of pages for her at a print shop. She has back problems that leave her sleepless MOST nights, but yet everyday she wakes up and bears the pain to bring joy to these kids, to give them a CHANCE. Even the SLIGHTEST chance of living a normal life is maybe the greatest gift they will ever receive. And that is what Christine is giving them. That is what motivates her to keep going even when she doesn’t always feel much progress is there. We prayed for her and for healing.
We loved God. We tried to continually pour prayer into everyday, everything we did. We went on prayer walks around the surrounding area, meeting people, and praying over neighborhoods. We worshipped God and tried to focus on His goodness in the midst of the horrific things we saw. We asked God the hard questions and processed the things we were experiencing.
And God used it! He used it to change OUR lives. These kids with nothing, absolutely nothing showed more joy than WE did most of the time. They showed us the joy in the simple things of life. The joy in bouncy balls, balloons, and simply being with others. They showed us that possessions don’t equal happiness and that complete provision for our needs is not a RIGHT we can expect from God, just because we have a relationship with Him. They showed us that the love of God exceeds our circumstances and our suffering. They knew He was there, no matter what they were going through.
But oddly, my heart was not broken until the last day. That morning a boy came to school complaining of some pain in his legs. When we had him show us where it hurts, we found 6-7 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over his legs. He explained that his mother got angry for a reason we still don’t know, heated a spoon over the fire, and pressed it into his legs over and over, leaving 1-2 inch burns all over his legs. I broke down as we prayed over him. I couldn’t fathom what had happened. A boy with nothing, already no hope, got severely burned by his own mother! Possibly the only person he could have ANY trust in! I sat and cried for 5 minutes, broken by the complete injustice that we were witnessing.
It is hard to go back to Western life, with all the luxuries you can imagine and no concept of need and poverty. However, God showed me something. Instead of letting the things we saw get us down and make us not want to eat, we need to simply be SO MUCH MORE thankful for what we DO have. Instead of being depressed and angry at what is going on in the world, we should be more joyful than ever FOR those that can’t be. We should choose to wake up each day with a smile on our face in honor of those that are suffering and can’t always find joy. And it should only motivate us to spread Jesus more, the hope, the love, the comfort that is in a relationship with God. It might just be the only thing these people will ever be able to say is theirs.
35 kids. 35 of the cutest kids you will ever see. 30% of them are HIV positive. About a quarter of them are orphans and stay with different people every night. If they are lucky enough to have a family, they never have both parents. None of them can afford to get anything of a normal education. The handful of crackers or little pieces of potatoes they get are school are usually the only food they get in a day. They live in hopelessness, with no purpose, nobody to show them a normal life. A generation of kids growing up without knowing anything other than poverty and despair. Begging on the streets, no education, no way of growing up to live a better life. Not because of anything they’ve done, not because they are not hard-working, but simply because of the place they were born and the circumstances they were placed in.
We only had 5 days. 5 days to tackle a mountain of problems. It felt hopeless. It felt like we would never make a dent. We prayed over and over that God would maximize our time. He answered our prayers. As we prayed for guidance and direction that first day, God simply said, “Go out in love and I will guide you. Live out the two greatest commandments--love God and love others --and I will use you.” So that is what we tried to do. Every morning we poured out whatever love we could on the kids, simply by showing them we cared about them and were there for them. We played with them, held them, hugged them, helped them learn, loved them. We TRIED to repay our hosts through offerings of finances, prayer, and support for the work they were doing with these kids--work in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of a large city, where they have no financial support system, and are barely staying afloat. Christine gave up her career as a school teacher of 35 years, her income, to start this school. She is putting so much into it she can’t even pay the rent on her own house. They have stopped using electricity and use as little water as possible simply to save money. We gave them enough money to pay the rent for the school and for the house, just to keep it open! She doesn’t have the money to make copies, so every page she makes for the kids she has to make 35-40 times. We made 2000 copies of pages for her at a print shop. She has back problems that leave her sleepless MOST nights, but yet everyday she wakes up and bears the pain to bring joy to these kids, to give them a CHANCE. Even the SLIGHTEST chance of living a normal life is maybe the greatest gift they will ever receive. And that is what Christine is giving them. That is what motivates her to keep going even when she doesn’t always feel much progress is there. We prayed for her and for healing.
We loved God. We tried to continually pour prayer into everyday, everything we did. We went on prayer walks around the surrounding area, meeting people, and praying over neighborhoods. We worshipped God and tried to focus on His goodness in the midst of the horrific things we saw. We asked God the hard questions and processed the things we were experiencing.
And God used it! He used it to change OUR lives. These kids with nothing, absolutely nothing showed more joy than WE did most of the time. They showed us the joy in the simple things of life. The joy in bouncy balls, balloons, and simply being with others. They showed us that possessions don’t equal happiness and that complete provision for our needs is not a RIGHT we can expect from God, just because we have a relationship with Him. They showed us that the love of God exceeds our circumstances and our suffering. They knew He was there, no matter what they were going through.
But oddly, my heart was not broken until the last day. That morning a boy came to school complaining of some pain in his legs. When we had him show us where it hurts, we found 6-7 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over his legs. He explained that his mother got angry for a reason we still don’t know, heated a spoon over the fire, and pressed it into his legs over and over, leaving 1-2 inch burns all over his legs. I broke down as we prayed over him. I couldn’t fathom what had happened. A boy with nothing, already no hope, got severely burned by his own mother! Possibly the only person he could have ANY trust in! I sat and cried for 5 minutes, broken by the complete injustice that we were witnessing.
It is hard to go back to Western life, with all the luxuries you can imagine and no concept of need and poverty. However, God showed me something. Instead of letting the things we saw get us down and make us not want to eat, we need to simply be SO MUCH MORE thankful for what we DO have. Instead of being depressed and angry at what is going on in the world, we should be more joyful than ever FOR those that can’t be. We should choose to wake up each day with a smile on our face in honor of those that are suffering and can’t always find joy. And it should only motivate us to spread Jesus more, the hope, the love, the comfort that is in a relationship with God. It might just be the only thing these people will ever be able to say is theirs.
Monday, November 9, 2009
On the edge..
For so many years I have prayed that God would make me a radical Christian. Someone that is sold-out completely for Christ and gives up his own life. Someone that turns to God and never looks back. As I came here I kept saying that I am done with myself. For so long I have depended on myself all for naught, for EMPTINESS. I am so overrated. And here God has brought me. Today, to this very place. As He broke me down into tears (the first time my hardened heart has been able to cry since I got here) today I knew the time had come. For so long I had prayed for these things. For so long my heart had longed to serve God with abandon. And here is my chance, God is answering all my prayers. There is a fork in the road.....go back to Hartville, start a career, live the normal everyday life...which God can definitely use. Or give it all up. Lay down ALL my rights..to family, to friends, to everything I know and say, "Not my will, Father, but yours." Both can be used by God, both are good, but which do I want more? Where is my heart?
I can only focus on God. But close your eyes for a second and imagine laying on your death bed, at the ripe old age of 80 years old. You know the end of life is fast approaching, only moments are left to reminisce and mull over your life. What will you think about? What will you remember? Will it be what car you drove, which brand of clothing you wore, how much money you made, what you did as a career? No! Everything we worry about is so meaningless, so stupid! Absolutely NOTHING will matter except for God and the relationships you made. There is no greater cause than to give up your life for Christ. Nothing could be more worthy! THERE IS NO GREATER THING!
So the choice is there. My stomach is in knots. The rest of my life seems to be in the balance. The two paths lay before me. Sure, as I look down the path I see God standing at the end of each of them, holding out his arms. But the question is, which do I want more?
I can only focus on God. But close your eyes for a second and imagine laying on your death bed, at the ripe old age of 80 years old. You know the end of life is fast approaching, only moments are left to reminisce and mull over your life. What will you think about? What will you remember? Will it be what car you drove, which brand of clothing you wore, how much money you made, what you did as a career? No! Everything we worry about is so meaningless, so stupid! Absolutely NOTHING will matter except for God and the relationships you made. There is no greater cause than to give up your life for Christ. Nothing could be more worthy! THERE IS NO GREATER THING!
So the choice is there. My stomach is in knots. The rest of my life seems to be in the balance. The two paths lay before me. Sure, as I look down the path I see God standing at the end of each of them, holding out his arms. But the question is, which do I want more?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
There IS more to the world....
Wow. It’s really good to get a different perspective on the world we live in. There is so much more than the little bubble we happen to be placed in, or even the bubble I am living in here in Germany. Last weekend I had the cool experience of being in three different countries in one day (Germany, Czech Republic, Poland). It was so interesting to just experience the different feelings of various countries. The cold emptiness, boarded up buildings, and barren streets of the Czech Republic to the laid back feeling of Poland. It was a really cool time. It opens your eyes so much to how other people live, and makes you realize that their current lifestyles are, many times, all they know.
In the Czech Republic people live in the middle of deserted towns with barely any businesses or anything around. An entire town seems completely dead, with no life and barely any people….remnants of its communist past. While there are thriving cities and beautiful places in Eastern Europe, this is sadly the norm. The feeling of the small city we stopped at seemed so dull, with no purpose or passion for anything. I never believed that cities necessarily could have a “dark” feeling, but there was a tangible difference in the presence of this city, and only 10 minutes across the border. This feeling of depression and emptiness made us feel the urge to stop at a park in the middle of the city and simply pray over it. That God would somehow come there and show the people that He loves them. That there IS a reason for living. In fact, the Czech Republic actually has the highest rate of atheists in the world. Not only people that don’t believe in God, but as in people that have no religion….no reason for life…nothing to hold on to. It was so real!
As for everyday life….it’s so easy to get lost in the grind and the busy schedule here and go through the motions. Its also SO hard to take in everything we are learning and somehow be able to apply what I can to everyday life. I know I’ve said it before but it is like I am relearning my perspective on life and Christianity. Everything I knew is being changed and my eyes are being opened to so much. Sometimes it is really hard, but it is always good. No matter how hard it gets, it is much better than the empty nothingness of the past 2 years of my life, when I basically turned from God and everything I knew was right. Sure, I went to church and said the right things. But a relationship with God was a complete afterthought. I had given up on God and everything He meant to me. It is really scary to think of now, but I was very, very content with living the “Sunday Christian” life the rest of my life….I had no desire to change or get to know God better. I just didn’t care anymore. Here’s the unbelievable part. After all the stupid things I did and all the ways I hurt God….He offered me life, He wanted me. And I rejected it. I slapped Him in the face by turning from Him and for 2 years ran from Him. Then, instead of sitting there waiting for me to come back, wondering what I was doing, HE RAN AFTER ME! He chased me down until I had no choice but to turn back to Him. He desired a relationship with me more than my failures, my mistakes, and my bad choices. The love of God is so unfathomable! So much bigger than anything in our lives, than our lives themselves, than the entire human race!
In the Czech Republic people live in the middle of deserted towns with barely any businesses or anything around. An entire town seems completely dead, with no life and barely any people….remnants of its communist past. While there are thriving cities and beautiful places in Eastern Europe, this is sadly the norm. The feeling of the small city we stopped at seemed so dull, with no purpose or passion for anything. I never believed that cities necessarily could have a “dark” feeling, but there was a tangible difference in the presence of this city, and only 10 minutes across the border. This feeling of depression and emptiness made us feel the urge to stop at a park in the middle of the city and simply pray over it. That God would somehow come there and show the people that He loves them. That there IS a reason for living. In fact, the Czech Republic actually has the highest rate of atheists in the world. Not only people that don’t believe in God, but as in people that have no religion….no reason for life…nothing to hold on to. It was so real!
As for everyday life….it’s so easy to get lost in the grind and the busy schedule here and go through the motions. Its also SO hard to take in everything we are learning and somehow be able to apply what I can to everyday life. I know I’ve said it before but it is like I am relearning my perspective on life and Christianity. Everything I knew is being changed and my eyes are being opened to so much. Sometimes it is really hard, but it is always good. No matter how hard it gets, it is much better than the empty nothingness of the past 2 years of my life, when I basically turned from God and everything I knew was right. Sure, I went to church and said the right things. But a relationship with God was a complete afterthought. I had given up on God and everything He meant to me. It is really scary to think of now, but I was very, very content with living the “Sunday Christian” life the rest of my life….I had no desire to change or get to know God better. I just didn’t care anymore. Here’s the unbelievable part. After all the stupid things I did and all the ways I hurt God….He offered me life, He wanted me. And I rejected it. I slapped Him in the face by turning from Him and for 2 years ran from Him. Then, instead of sitting there waiting for me to come back, wondering what I was doing, HE RAN AFTER ME! He chased me down until I had no choice but to turn back to Him. He desired a relationship with me more than my failures, my mistakes, and my bad choices. The love of God is so unfathomable! So much bigger than anything in our lives, than our lives themselves, than the entire human race!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Kenya...
So here I am, going to Mombasa, Kenya in 2 weeks. The main focus of going there will be to work at a school for street kids. A very Godly woman that lives in the city started the school by simply opening a building for the street kids to come hang out in a safe place. Most of them have no homes, no money, and either no parents, or parents that can’t provide for them. 30% of them are HIV positive, and none of them have any money for an education. They range from ages 3-6. And there, in a single room, in a dusty, dirty building on the outskirts of the city, a single woman is showing them the love of God. She is teaching them things they would never learn otherwise. The alphabet, numbers, even Bible verses and worship songs—but most importantly, she is teaching them that God loves each and every one of them and cares about them. She is leading them to a REAL Father, when theirs is really not even there. She provides most of them with the only food they will get in a day, such as a cracker or two and, if they’re lucky, a half cup of black tea (a Kenyan staple). She is giving them a hope and a future. Teams that have gone there before talk about how so many times they could only cry as these kids—desperate for affection, love, ANYTHING—recited the 23 Psalm or sang praises to God. Everyday these kids show up, all on their own, because they know there is a God in that building that loves them, and a woman that does her best to show them that. She spends hours and hours trying to create her own posters and sacrificing so much or order to have a few crayons for the kids to color with. School supplies aren’t even thought about, and she doesn’t even have the money to make copies, so she has to make up to 40 individual pages of everything she hands out to them. Lastly, the school is breaking many laws and functioning against code, which means it will most likely be shut down within a few months. We can’t let this happen. Our goal is to go there, do work on the building, set up some kind of support system for the kids, but most of all—to spend time with them and show them love. It is very important that we get some sort of financial support system for each kid jumpstarted while we are there, or the school will not be able to exist.
However, it is hard to get much done in 6-7 days, so we are trying to stretch out our time as much as possible. This wouldn’t be as much of a problem if there were more flights flying into Mombasa. Currently, there are two choices we have. Spend less money and spend 2-3 less days there, which could really limit what we can get done (well, with God anything is possible), or go significantly past our budget and get to spend 10 days there, missing some of the school sessions. We prayed for 2 hours tonight as a team, but nothing clear came of it. Please pray for us as we try to make a decision together and only want to follow God and what He wants. Not easy, especially when a few of our team members do NOT have the finances to go in the first place, much less pay for a more expensive plane ticket.
Thank you everyone for all the ways you have blesses me so far. From cards to money to prayers, I feel it all and it keeps me so encouraged. Please know that your contributions are helping change my life and the lives of others here in this Discipleship Training School. I will truly never be the same person I came here as..
PS-For those wondering when I am going to post pictures, I only have a limited amount of data I can upload per month, so I can only put them on Facebook. If you want to see them join the stone age and GET A FACEBOOK (if you dont have one), or just ask to be my friend. JK about the stone age thing, didn't mean to offend you.
However, it is hard to get much done in 6-7 days, so we are trying to stretch out our time as much as possible. This wouldn’t be as much of a problem if there were more flights flying into Mombasa. Currently, there are two choices we have. Spend less money and spend 2-3 less days there, which could really limit what we can get done (well, with God anything is possible), or go significantly past our budget and get to spend 10 days there, missing some of the school sessions. We prayed for 2 hours tonight as a team, but nothing clear came of it. Please pray for us as we try to make a decision together and only want to follow God and what He wants. Not easy, especially when a few of our team members do NOT have the finances to go in the first place, much less pay for a more expensive plane ticket.
Thank you everyone for all the ways you have blesses me so far. From cards to money to prayers, I feel it all and it keeps me so encouraged. Please know that your contributions are helping change my life and the lives of others here in this Discipleship Training School. I will truly never be the same person I came here as..
PS-For those wondering when I am going to post pictures, I only have a limited amount of data I can upload per month, so I can only put them on Facebook. If you want to see them join the stone age and GET A FACEBOOK (if you dont have one), or just ask to be my friend. JK about the stone age thing, didn't mean to offend you.
One Month!
Well, what to say. So much is happening SO quickly it is hard to put it all into words, or even half of it. As the days get more filled, the quicker time breezes by before I can grab a hold of it. Can’t believe I have officially been in Germany for a MONTH! Unbelievable. Before I know it I will be back in good old Hartville, but thankfully not as I left it. It is hard to believe all the things God has been teaching me and all the ways in which my very core, my foundation of life is rapidly changing and growing and maturing. While it has not been the quick, emotional change of a spiritual high that I’ve experienced at summer camp or a week-long missions trip, it is so much deeper. A genuine, deep, lasting, life-changing….change. However, at the same time, it is so easy to not take advantage of all the opportunities I have here to get to know God better and be used by Him.
In other news, I’m going to KENYA, which really is an amazing story in and of itself. I will start out by saying that I have never especially desired to go to Africa. I have never NOT wanted to, but I would much rather tour Europe or other parts of the Western World. Not sure why, just how I was made. Well, about 2 weeks ago I was sitting in one of our prayer times silently waiting on God, to see what He wanted to tell me, when a picture of Africa popped into my head. I looked up, thought about how odd it seemed, but then put my head back down and continued to focus, when this time it zoomed into Eastern Africa. I then saw a picture of young children playing in the street. It was so random and seemingly out of place that I knew it was from God (mind you, I had not prayed at all about any kind of location for outreach or anything). I figured He must be telling me where He wanted me to go on our major outreach, which we don’t find out the options for until the end of November. I immediately thought of how the base here in Germany always sends one team to Ethiopia (in E. Africa) and figured that is what it meant. But the more I thought about it, the more Ethiopia did not seem like the answer. It HAD to be something else.
I ended up moving on and, for the most part, completely forgot about the vision. Then, before I knew it, it was the day for them to present our choices for mini-outreach (a week-long missions trip to introduce us to what our big outreach is going to be like). That day I had been figuring out my financial situation, which brought to my attention that I only had $300 over what I needed for school fees, leaving me very little travelling money for the holidays (which is when Missy is coming!) or any other needs I might have. I was very worried about it and wondering what I was doing to do. Nevertheless, they began to introduce each mini-outreach, it’s location, and the ministry it would be doing. As they ran through the choices, none of them jumped out at me. I figured I would have to pray about them because why would God ever give me a clear answer….the choices seemed so vague…Berlin, Paris, Prague, Czech Republic, Budapest…then, the last team introduced their location. KENYA! My heart began to beat out of my chest as I KNEW right then and there that this was exactly what my vision meant! Then they went on to say they would be working with kids on the street!! It was so clear I could hardly contain myself. BUT there was a catch. Since it was so much farther than they had ever gone on mini-outreach, it would be an additional $950 on top of the school fees. My heart sunk! I was already short, how could I ever go! But as I prayed and debated and asked God what to do, I could only remember that vision and how clear it was. I never got a clear answer, but decided to do what my spirit was telling me to, which was lay down my right to have control over my money for what was a very faint, random image that is not easy to risk $1000 on. I handed in my choice and exhausted myself worrying and wondering if I had made the right choice. Why do we fear and worry SOOO often, when God is always good and always has our best interests in mind. Little known to me, at the time I handed my choice in, my church had a check ready to give to me for almost the exact amount I needed to go. Sunday, I talked to my dad on the phone and he informed me that the church had a check for me. Cool! I thought it was probably like $50-$100, but every bit counts. Then he informed me that the church had given me a check for $685!!! As I added up my finances, I could not believe it. I needed $6750 for all my school fees, and behold! With the additional donations I now had $6785!!! God had called me, trusted me to blindly follow Him (which must have been His grace in me, because I don’t know how He got me to do it), then provided for my needs! What an awesome God!!
In other news, I’m going to KENYA, which really is an amazing story in and of itself. I will start out by saying that I have never especially desired to go to Africa. I have never NOT wanted to, but I would much rather tour Europe or other parts of the Western World. Not sure why, just how I was made. Well, about 2 weeks ago I was sitting in one of our prayer times silently waiting on God, to see what He wanted to tell me, when a picture of Africa popped into my head. I looked up, thought about how odd it seemed, but then put my head back down and continued to focus, when this time it zoomed into Eastern Africa. I then saw a picture of young children playing in the street. It was so random and seemingly out of place that I knew it was from God (mind you, I had not prayed at all about any kind of location for outreach or anything). I figured He must be telling me where He wanted me to go on our major outreach, which we don’t find out the options for until the end of November. I immediately thought of how the base here in Germany always sends one team to Ethiopia (in E. Africa) and figured that is what it meant. But the more I thought about it, the more Ethiopia did not seem like the answer. It HAD to be something else.
I ended up moving on and, for the most part, completely forgot about the vision. Then, before I knew it, it was the day for them to present our choices for mini-outreach (a week-long missions trip to introduce us to what our big outreach is going to be like). That day I had been figuring out my financial situation, which brought to my attention that I only had $300 over what I needed for school fees, leaving me very little travelling money for the holidays (which is when Missy is coming!) or any other needs I might have. I was very worried about it and wondering what I was doing to do. Nevertheless, they began to introduce each mini-outreach, it’s location, and the ministry it would be doing. As they ran through the choices, none of them jumped out at me. I figured I would have to pray about them because why would God ever give me a clear answer….the choices seemed so vague…Berlin, Paris, Prague, Czech Republic, Budapest…then, the last team introduced their location. KENYA! My heart began to beat out of my chest as I KNEW right then and there that this was exactly what my vision meant! Then they went on to say they would be working with kids on the street!! It was so clear I could hardly contain myself. BUT there was a catch. Since it was so much farther than they had ever gone on mini-outreach, it would be an additional $950 on top of the school fees. My heart sunk! I was already short, how could I ever go! But as I prayed and debated and asked God what to do, I could only remember that vision and how clear it was. I never got a clear answer, but decided to do what my spirit was telling me to, which was lay down my right to have control over my money for what was a very faint, random image that is not easy to risk $1000 on. I handed in my choice and exhausted myself worrying and wondering if I had made the right choice. Why do we fear and worry SOOO often, when God is always good and always has our best interests in mind. Little known to me, at the time I handed my choice in, my church had a check ready to give to me for almost the exact amount I needed to go. Sunday, I talked to my dad on the phone and he informed me that the church had a check for me. Cool! I thought it was probably like $50-$100, but every bit counts. Then he informed me that the church had given me a check for $685!!! As I added up my finances, I could not believe it. I needed $6750 for all my school fees, and behold! With the additional donations I now had $6785!!! God had called me, trusted me to blindly follow Him (which must have been His grace in me, because I don’t know how He got me to do it), then provided for my needs! What an awesome God!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Daily Routine
Sorry if that last post got a little long. As far as what I’ve been up to….well, NOT MUCH OF ANYTHING, simply because I don't have time. I am SO busy it is unbelievable. My daily schedule is FULL. I usually skip breakfast and get up at around 8. We have whatever the staff decides for that day from 8:30-9:30 (usually a prayer time, praise and worship, or some other special thing). We then have a 5-10 min. break and start a lecture/preaching/teaching from the speaker for that week (we have a different international speaker come in every week to talk on a specific topic). That goes from 9:30-11:00. At 11 we have coffee break (a very sacred time in the life of any German) which is usually coffee, tea, and fruit. At 11:30 the speaker continues until 1, which is lunchtime (the biggest meal of the day in Germany). We then have work duties from 2-4. Then at 4:30 we have another session of anything the staff decides, whether its going over issues that have come up or getting passport things straightened out. This goes until 6 which is supper. Dinner time in Germany is not a big deal. The first day, they fed us meat, cheese, and bread. And thats it. I thought, "Oh, taking it easy tonight". Next night, oh same thing again. The third night I started thinking, "Man, they must REALLY love their meat, cheese and bread. Until I finally came to realize that they eat the same thing here for dinner EVERY SINGLE DAY. And it goes on and on and on. Cold lunch meats, cheese, and VERY heavy bread with butter. Maybe once a week we are lucky enough to get an unheard-of luxury (gasp) like LETTUCE or TOMATOES. Needless to say, plain sandwiches are ruined for me. If anyone feels led to send me Ranch dressing or honey mustard to spice things up…then God Bless you, haha! But anyways, after supper is free time, unless there is something special you signed up for (activities, sessions on different topics, whatever). Usually most people converge on a room the size of most living rooms. Which might not sound bad, until you realize its usually 30-40 kids there hanging out, playing games, sitting on laptops, whatever we come up with. Although extremely loud, great, great times. On the weekends we really have NO SCHEDULE (Hallelujah, praise the Lord!). For those that have money, you can travel to anywhere you want, go shopping, hang out, see the sights, whatever you want to as long as you are back Monday morning for sessions. For everyone else there are different activities students plan around the base that anyone can join. Every Sunday night about 10 guys usually go into town to an apartment (that the mission owns) and watch Sunday afternoon football on someone’s laptop. And by football I mean FOOTBALL, not soccer. So that is a typical day. Its already going fast, can’t imagine how quickly 6 months will be by me! Love you all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
